Ghosts and Shadows
by Hawki
Summary: It can be an unbearable pain for a parent to lose a child. And after losing John to the Ghost Program, a loss that she'd been unintentionally compliant with, Liddy was no exception. However, her pain went far beyond simple grief...
1. The Shadow

_Mother of your children, why here have you come? Bearer of your daughter, bearer of your son._

Kalathi Song of the Dead, first verse

* * *

**Ghosts and Shadows**

**Chapter 1: The Shadow**

It was the third night. The Shadow would come again.

Liddy was ready. Ready to do what she'd been doing for the last three days. Ready to do what she always did alone. Ready to protect her household.

She did what she always did. Light shirt to ensure mobility? Check. Old chain rifle? Check. A fully lit household to keep the Shadow away? Check. Peace of mind? Uncheck. That was something she didn't have. Not while Jim was away at Mar Sara City, doing his best to get in touch with Tarsonis. Not while her Johnny was away. Not while she had the knowledge that her baby boy was never coming back…and even if Jim got the answers they needed, that wouldn't change the fact that he was gone.

If only the Shadow would go away as well.

The weapon felt strange in her hands. She'd learnt how to use firearms growing up-that was practically a requirement of every citizen of Mar Sara. But guns were Jim's line of expertise, and she'd gladly let him have it when he was appointed as marshal. But the gun was needed. The gun kept her safe. The gun, now rested on her lap as she sat under the doorway of the house. It was winter, it was freezing and an icy wind blew through the dry air. Rustling the leaves…moving the swing…

_The swing!_

Liddy swung the rifle round. That was John's swing. John swung on it. She'd even sat on it less than a week ago, holding the notification that her son had been killed in a shuttle accident (or so went the official line). That swing…was his…

It wasn't the Shadow's.

Maybe it knew it. Maybe that was why this time it came straight at her. Stumbling out of the dark, as if lost. Moving like a child, yet with all the maliciousness of a demon. Like something out of an Old Earth mythology, made manifest on the other side of the galaxy. Gripping the rifle, ignoring the chill and the aches in her chest, Liddy aimed at the beast. Daring it to cross over into the light the house cast. Daring it to attack. To take her son…

_Your son's been taken._

The rifle was gripped even harder. Lies…weren't they?

_They're not lies. You're freezing. You'll catch a cold._

Children always told lies.

_Not my John. He never…_

_Here, let me…_

Liddy fired.

The Shadow didn't move. Had she hit it? Had the bullet gone through? Did it even exist? Looking down to let out a series of coughs (she'd been doing that a lot lately), Liddy peered through the gloom. Maybe she needed to let it into the light. Maybe that would weaken it.

_Let me help you…_

"Go away…" she whispered. "You're not coming in…"

The Shadow and terran faced each other down. It was a staring contest that only ended when the swing creaked again, caught in the breeze.

_The wind. Nothing more._

It was getting colder…she thought…she wasn't sure anymore. Her mind was torn between focussing on the Shadow and her own aches and pains.

_You're coming down with something…_

Liddy ignored its words. Lies. All of them. She was fine physically. This thing only wanted to harm her, even if it could only do so emotionally. Somewhere in the back of her mind there was the suggestion that she should go indoors. That she was letting her grief get to her. That she should go to sleep, grieve, wait for Jim to come back, and then try and move on from the pain that came from losing a son.

_Good idea. You…_

Liddy shook her head, ignoring the pounding in the forehead area. More tricks. More lies.

_You should call Jim. You can't take me out. He'll come swinging by, brandishing his revolver…_

Call Jim…no, she couldn't do that. He had work to do. He had to contact the Institute that took her son away

_Come on, you can't take me._

It was strange…it was as if the Shadow was mocking her. Yet its voice was just the same old neutral tone it always was. As keen as it was on tormenting her, it didn't really seem to care how well it did.

_Maybe it _won't _hurt me…_Liddy thought to herself. _Maybe…maybe…_

Maybe it was a ghost. Maybe it was John. Maybe there was something…anything…something in this universe that would make it possible for her to see her son and…

_You're crazy. You know that don't you?_

And as she stepped into the gloom, she found nothing. No Shadow. No Jim. No John.

_Of course not. Jim's at the capital doing daddy stuff, and John's in the place where all the bad boys go._

_Shut up._

_Remember how you once told him that if he didn't behave, a lyote would gobble him up? I wonder what that was like for him? Do you think he remembered it when he died?_

"Shut up," Liddy whispered.

_I mean, crashing in a shuttle…and let's suppose that's even true…what's it like, do you think? To be blown up. Think he'd feel his skin boiling away and all that?_

"**Shut up!"**

Liddy fell to the cool earth, her mind racing, her head thumping and her throat letting out a series of wheezing coughs.

_Go back inside._

More words from the Shadow. She was fine. It could make her cough and headachy all it wanted. It wouldn't win.

Something was ahead of her. Something solid. Something that caused her to recoil, grip her rifle and get ready to fire.

The lyote simply stared at her.

Liddy laughed sadly. A lyote. A bloody scavenger creature-potentially dangerous, but generally ambivalent to terrans. A lyote that from the looks of it, was still a juvenile. Probably had its own mother somewhere.

"John would have liked you…" Liddy whispered. "He would have…would have…"

She stopped talking. Her throat was too sore. And the tears were starting to come back.

And the lyote kept staring.


	2. Awakening

_Do you seek forgiveness, for what you have done? So you seek escape from dark, in the light of sun?_

Kalathi Song of the Dead, second verse

* * *

**StarCraft: Ghosts and Shadows**

**Chapter 2: Awakening**

It was dawn.

No, scratch that, it was late morning. But for Liddy, opening her eyes and immediately regretting it, it might as well have been before sunrise. She felt exhausted. She felt ill. And as she remembered why she was like this in the first place, she felt ready to drop dead as well.

_John's dead. He'll always be dead. You'll be dead too someday. Life sucks that way doesn't it?_

Groaning, Liddy sat on the edge of the bed, glancing at the mirror to the side. Even on a Fringe World like Mar Sara, she'd always tried to keep a decent appearance. Nothing fancy, with only minimalist makeup and varnish, enough to make her seem like a flower in the desert, as her mother had once said. But now…her hair was a mess, deep shadows were under her eyes, and there was something else. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

She stopped trying to as she dealt with another bout of coughs.

Fighting the pains in her chest, not to mention the rest of her body, Liddy headed downstairs. Time for breakfast…even if that amounted to nothing more than some Halcyon-brand tea. Her appetite had gone down over the last four days, as had her thirst. Making her way to the kettle, she turned on the radio.

…**the death toll currently stands at twenty-four. The Sons of Korhal terrorist group has taken responsibility and-…**

Liddy ignored the voice. More death. More destruction. More cold comfort that on whatever planet Mengsk's band of butchers had struck at, there'd be people like her. Children losing parents. Parents losing children…

Liddy shook it off and focussed on the tea. Then she focussed on the table.

A table for three. One at it. Jim gone, John gone…she was home alone. As had been the case since Jim had left. Not that he'd been eager to-he'd even wanted her to come with him. But she'd refused. Refused, sent him off, and after a day's worth of fone calls from the friends she'd made over the years, had left the fone off the hook and switched her mobile off. Opening the laptop on the other side of the table and checking emails…yet again, Jim had tried to contact her.

She didn't bother reading it. It would be the same crap. Institute not responding, desperately wanting her to respond, promising to be home soon…she'd had enough. Jim wasn't like John-he took after her more. John was hers. Not his. He couldn't…

Fighting the tears, Liddy buried her face in her hands, rubbing her aching head. Such thoughts weren't doing her any good.

…**Moving onto sports, the TarKossian Blood Shrikes have taken a narrow win over…**

Sports…John loved sports…

…**the final score being-…**

Liddy returned to the tea. Still tasteless.

…**the result has ensured the Blood Shrikes will qualify for the-…**

Liddy pushed the tea to one side. Maybe a shower would help. She hadn't taken one in…well, quite awhile. She got up…

…Then fell back down into the chair. Her lungs felt like they were on fire.

…**In padball, the-…**

Padball…they'd played that outside. John was good at it.

…**in a gruelling match that-…**

Liddy reached over for the radio. She ended up falling off the chair.

…**the Ursadaks falling flat on-…**

And found the rifle staring right at her.

Liddy blinked. The rifle…she must have cast it aside when she came back inside from…whatever she was doing outside in the first place. Swearing under her breath, she examined the gun and put the safety back on.

_The Shadow. It was…_

Shadows…it sounded crazy. Maybe she _was _crazy. Maybe she needed to see a doctor. A shrink, in addition to the physical kind. Not that doctors of either type were that easy to get a hold of on this planet, let alone in an area so far from the capital, but…

**Have you ever dreamed of visiting the planet of your dreams? Well now you-…**

Reaching up, Liddy shut the radio off. She'd had enough of dreams. They just ended up being broken.

_Rest…_she thought to herself, getting to her feet and ignoring the aches coursing through you. _Need rest…_

She headed upstairs, coughing all the way. She took the rifle as well.

She didn't know why either.


	3. Return to Nightmares

_Living is your punishment, death is what awaits. Prepare to leave the light of sun, and pass through the night's gate._

Kalathi Song of the Dead, third verse

* * *

**Ghosts and Shadows**

**Chapter 3: Return to Nightmares**

It was night. And Liddy was wandering around.

She felt fine. The rifle was gone. The Shadow…whatever it was…was absent. And she felt fine. She no longer felt cold. Not that she seemed to be feeling much at all right now, but better nothing than something painful.

_Better nothing than something…better John was never born…better not to have ever had something to lose…_

Liddy shook it off. She didn't want to think such thoughts. They were almost as bad as talking to herself or apparitions.

She moved over to the swing and sat on it. Just like she'd done when she and Jim had first heard the news. She started swinging…pushing herself…John had always needed her help to start swinging…she'd always been there for him in case he fell off…

**Weren't there for him when he died, were you?**

And…it was back. Glancing around though, there was no sight of it. The lights were on, the trees were rustling, her lungs were aching…and yet, only the voice was heard.

**You're ill. In more ways than one.**

Liddy kept swinging.

**And you don't care, do you?**

She shook her head.

**Then why don't you go ahead and end it?**

Liddy reached for the slugthrower…

And stopped.

She'd taken it out, but hadn't raised it. She just stared at the pistol.

_When did…how did I…_

She didn't remember taking it out of the safe. She didn't remember taking the safety off. Sliding out the clip, she didn't remember emptying it so that only one round remained.

**So you're suicidal _and _crazy. Course they're kind of the same thing, but…**

Liddy shushed the voice away. Or maybe the coughing drowned it out.

**Let's be honest here. You're freezing, and your body's no longer capable of telling you that. You've got pneumonia. It's winter, and you're far from the only one.**

Liddy remained silent. She let the Shadow talk.

**Only in your case, you're letting your condition worsen. In your case, you're exposing yourself to the elements. You're doing it because deep down-…**

Liddy got off the swing. It kept moving.

**You're fekked up. And it's your fault that John's dead. _You're _the one who let him go.**

Liddy remained silent. You couldn't argue with facts.

**...you're no fun.**

Funny…that was what John said sometimes. She might have even laughed if not for the shortness of breath.

She could feel the Shadow watching her. But she couldn't stare back. The Shadow was everywhere. It was every_thing_. It was her psyche. It was John. It was Jim's absence. It was the voice in the radio, the threats of Mengsk, the sports result of one side losing…

**Actually, I kind of liked that. Padball's fun.**

It was everything and nothing. Herself, and no-one. It was the breeze, the swing, the light, the dark.

**Cool.**

And…it was absolutely non-existent. Because in the end, all she knew that existed was her own mind. Despite being a "fringe squib" as a Core-worlder might say, she still understood the concept of solipsism.

**Did you ever teach John that word?**

And in the spirit of solipsism, her mind had fallen into a black hole somewhere.

**Hmm…I preferred it when I was everywhere.**

It was even the lyote.

Liddy stared at the creature. It stared back. She raised the pistol. Its head tilted to one side.

"You hungry?" she asked.

It tilted its head the other way.

"Poor thing. Must be the winter. Hard on everyone."

The lyote returned to staring at her.

"Come on. I'll…"

And that was when she collapsed.

She landed awkwardly and the pistol went off. Its bullet hit one of the swing's supports, sending it lopsided. Letting out a whine, the lyote scampered away.

_Bye…John…_

The Shadow didn't mock her. Maybe it didn't need to. Maybe it didn't want to kick her while she was down.

After all, she wasn't getting back up.

As her breathing became more ragged, as her shivering increased, she'd even be there when Jim returned in a few hours.

**The End**

* * *

_A/N_

_Well, that's that done. Probably shouldn't be surprised by the lack of response, considering that Liddy is an obscure character and that this was my first time at writing a supernatural story in any meaningful manner. Anyway, got three other _StarCraft _stories on my 'to write' list currently, said fics being _Inner Fire _(a sequel to _Operation: Claws_), _The Koprulu Chronicles _(collection of oneshots) and _Terran Up the Night _(development of lyrics for all the songs listed in _Wings of Liberty_). Current writing focus right now however, is on a _StarFront _story titled _Transit of Venus_._


End file.
